On saturday Jeff, Zack and I went to a graduation party. A friend of ours was throwing a party for his daughter, who just graduated from college. It was a very casual affair, held in a VFW hall by their house, and our friend comes from a large family, so they are used to having kids running around. It was our first event, with a group of people at a party, with Zack being able to run and play with other kids.
When we first arrived, he was immediately attracted to the red helium balloons that were scattered all over the hall for decoration. Luckily they had three balloons grouped together, and attached to a cow bell, on each of the tables. So we grabbed one of the tables and let him play with our centerpiece for awhile. He then enjoyed running up and down the hall, grabbing a dorito or potato chip on each visit back by us; he was also waving to everyone that was coming in, and visiting guests sitting around to say hello -- it was as if he was the host of the party.
Then once a few children showed up, he was set for the rest of the afternoon -- running around with them, playing with the balloons, laughing and just having a great time. It was so much fun to watch......and I wasn't the only one. All the guests loved his happy face, his openness and his laughter.
When we got ready to leave, a few hours later, on the way out the door, people we didn't even know were sad to see us leave, they said that Zack had been their entertainment.
It made me so happy to see him going and doing on his own, without worrying about where we were, not needing to sit near us, but instead out exploring new people and having fun!
It was a very good day.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Communication Meltdowns
At 18 months my son has quite a repertoire of words in his vocabulary, and he has started putting a couple of words together. So most of the time, between the words he can say, him pointing and gesturing, I can usually figure out what he wants.
Or there are times when he says a word I don't understand, but I try to pretend that I do -- to acknowledge him.
However, lately he has started having meltdowns because he wants to say more, but hasn't mastered the words yet. Or we think he wants something and it is obviously not what he wants and he gets extremely upset and frustrated.
In my coaching practice I have worked with parents of children ages 4-6 that are having temper tantrums because they can't express their feelings....why they are angry, and what is really going on underneath the anger. I coach parents on how to dialogue with their children to help them find the words to express their concerns.
I know my son is struggling because he wants to talk and express himself, but he hasn't learned the language. I am sure that once he get those words down, though, he will never stop talking!
As with everything, this challenging time will pass!
Or there are times when he says a word I don't understand, but I try to pretend that I do -- to acknowledge him.
However, lately he has started having meltdowns because he wants to say more, but hasn't mastered the words yet. Or we think he wants something and it is obviously not what he wants and he gets extremely upset and frustrated.
In my coaching practice I have worked with parents of children ages 4-6 that are having temper tantrums because they can't express their feelings....why they are angry, and what is really going on underneath the anger. I coach parents on how to dialogue with their children to help them find the words to express their concerns.
I know my son is struggling because he wants to talk and express himself, but he hasn't learned the language. I am sure that once he get those words down, though, he will never stop talking!
As with everything, this challenging time will pass!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Ball Player in the Making
The other morning was one of those times that I truly enjoyed my son. He can be so precious with his happy grin, curious nature, and excitement when he is doing something he loves -- one of those things is playing with balls (any kind of sports ball -- football, soccer, baseball, basketball, beach ball, etc....) he is almost obsessed with them.
So shortly after getting up and going downstairs he ran right over to his inflatable car that is filled with plastic balls and started throwing them to our dog (a white boxer named Aspen) to chase and play with him. He is so funny the way he crouches down (like a professional baseball pitcher) and throws that ball across the room. Then he laughed and ran after Aspen to do it again.......this can continue for a good fifteen minutes before he moves on to another game involving his football, or another sport.
My husband and I joke about what type of professional athlete he will be when he grows up. Even a few months ago, when he discovered the football -- my husband had gotten him a small official NFL ball and he was in love with it the minute it was in his hands. He reminded me of one of those freshman receivers in college that has to carry the ball around with him all day, and through all of his classes, making sure he does not let it out of his hands. Zack was the same way -- carrying it everywhere, and even falling asleep with it, clutched in his tight little hands. Even today if you say football to him he will comment "hike, hike, hike."
But them we laugh as he is always picking up the phone wanting to call someone, or talk --with it perched on his shoulder, under his chin, while walking around. So we make remarks about how instead of an athlete, he is going to be a Sports Agent, following all the sports, and then calling his clients after each game!!!
It is fun watching him blossom and enjoy his unique interests. As with any child a parent should pay attention to their child's gifts and talents and then find ways to encourage them to become the person they are meant to be. I look forward to watching Zack's talent unfold.
So shortly after getting up and going downstairs he ran right over to his inflatable car that is filled with plastic balls and started throwing them to our dog (a white boxer named Aspen) to chase and play with him. He is so funny the way he crouches down (like a professional baseball pitcher) and throws that ball across the room. Then he laughed and ran after Aspen to do it again.......this can continue for a good fifteen minutes before he moves on to another game involving his football, or another sport.
My husband and I joke about what type of professional athlete he will be when he grows up. Even a few months ago, when he discovered the football -- my husband had gotten him a small official NFL ball and he was in love with it the minute it was in his hands. He reminded me of one of those freshman receivers in college that has to carry the ball around with him all day, and through all of his classes, making sure he does not let it out of his hands. Zack was the same way -- carrying it everywhere, and even falling asleep with it, clutched in his tight little hands. Even today if you say football to him he will comment "hike, hike, hike."
But them we laugh as he is always picking up the phone wanting to call someone, or talk --with it perched on his shoulder, under his chin, while walking around. So we make remarks about how instead of an athlete, he is going to be a Sports Agent, following all the sports, and then calling his clients after each game!!!
It is fun watching him blossom and enjoy his unique interests. As with any child a parent should pay attention to their child's gifts and talents and then find ways to encourage them to become the person they are meant to be. I look forward to watching Zack's talent unfold.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Spending Time with Zack -- or Working?
Saturday's blog reminds me of how often I am playing a mental game with myself about having Zack more often at the sitters, so I can get work done....or spending those extra few hours in the morning, a few days a week, just with him???
On bright, sunny days, those mornings are precious as I take him to the diner for pancakes, and then over to the playground to swing on the swings. Or down to the lake to watch him throw sticks into the water, or just observe him walk around, exploring his world.
In those times I am reminded that he will only be this age once and how priceless these times are. There are other times; however, when the weather is not so good, and we get caught staying in the house, and I am pulled between running up to check my e-mail, or return some phone calls, and playing with him.
Then when he senses me pulling away from him, the struggles begin. Or he will make his way around the house pulling everything out and throwing it around.....for me to pick up before starting my work day later.....or he will get into everything he shouldn't....and frustrate me to no end.
So each day flies by in a flash, as I try to juggle it all, and make the most of each day!
On bright, sunny days, those mornings are precious as I take him to the diner for pancakes, and then over to the playground to swing on the swings. Or down to the lake to watch him throw sticks into the water, or just observe him walk around, exploring his world.
In those times I am reminded that he will only be this age once and how priceless these times are. There are other times; however, when the weather is not so good, and we get caught staying in the house, and I am pulled between running up to check my e-mail, or return some phone calls, and playing with him.
Then when he senses me pulling away from him, the struggles begin. Or he will make his way around the house pulling everything out and throwing it around.....for me to pick up before starting my work day later.....or he will get into everything he shouldn't....and frustrate me to no end.
So each day flies by in a flash, as I try to juggle it all, and make the most of each day!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Toddler Proofing My Home Office
When my son was an infant he would sleep a lot in my office, while I got work done. As he moved from infant to baby, he would still be in my office, playing with a toy and looking up at me content, happy to be near me playing, while I worked on my computer.
The next phase -- he moved into a bouncy seat, next to my desk, where he could sit up, spin around, bounce, and play with the toys that were attached. This kept him occupied and busy long enough for me to get several things done before he was ready to go off and crawl around.
I visioned the day when he would sit on a rug, on the floor of my office, and play with toys while I worked. (That must have been a vision of another child, because my son does not sit for any length of time!!)
He went right from crawling to standing, to furniture walking, and once he started walking on his own, he was soon running -- freedom, freedom....he wanted to explore everything. Which leads me to the current phase....getting into everything in my office and driving me CRAZY!!
This is my domain -- my work environment! And he would knock papers over, pull books off my shelves, turn my printer on and proceed to shove small items into it. He would pull folders out of my filing cabinet, yank my phone off my desk (once when I was on an important call) and one morning he shut my computer off just as I was right in the middle of creating a document!!
During those moments I can only see a bulldozer plowing through my office. But when I have a chance to step back, look at his sweet little face, and lift him up to carry him downstairs, out of my domain......do I suddenly see an adventurous little boy that just wants to see all the fun little items I have hidden away in my drawers, and be a part of my world.
So again, I needed to figure out a way to adapt to him, and not expect him to adapt to me by not exploring my office. So I bought a plastic bin and put all my paperclips, computer discs, staples, rubber bands, etc....in it and put it away in my office closet. I also need to limit the time I am in my office when he is home, not sleeping or dad isn't around to watch him.
How two worlds collide......
The next phase -- he moved into a bouncy seat, next to my desk, where he could sit up, spin around, bounce, and play with the toys that were attached. This kept him occupied and busy long enough for me to get several things done before he was ready to go off and crawl around.
I visioned the day when he would sit on a rug, on the floor of my office, and play with toys while I worked. (That must have been a vision of another child, because my son does not sit for any length of time!!)
He went right from crawling to standing, to furniture walking, and once he started walking on his own, he was soon running -- freedom, freedom....he wanted to explore everything. Which leads me to the current phase....getting into everything in my office and driving me CRAZY!!
This is my domain -- my work environment! And he would knock papers over, pull books off my shelves, turn my printer on and proceed to shove small items into it. He would pull folders out of my filing cabinet, yank my phone off my desk (once when I was on an important call) and one morning he shut my computer off just as I was right in the middle of creating a document!!
During those moments I can only see a bulldozer plowing through my office. But when I have a chance to step back, look at his sweet little face, and lift him up to carry him downstairs, out of my domain......do I suddenly see an adventurous little boy that just wants to see all the fun little items I have hidden away in my drawers, and be a part of my world.
So again, I needed to figure out a way to adapt to him, and not expect him to adapt to me by not exploring my office. So I bought a plastic bin and put all my paperclips, computer discs, staples, rubber bands, etc....in it and put it away in my office closet. I also need to limit the time I am in my office when he is home, not sleeping or dad isn't around to watch him.
How two worlds collide......
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Getting Away -- Why No Sleep?
Yesterday I drove to Connecticut to spend the night at a B&B in the coastal town of Niantic, CT. I was writing an article for BnBFinder.com about their Babymoon Package. I was so looking forward to getting away from all my responsibilities at home and for my husband to spend 24 hours of quality time with Zack and our two dogs!
Before baby I used to travel at least once a month doing trainings for American Express, but after baby, the first chance I had to travel for work overnight was just a month ago. This trip allowed me the freedom to not only get my job done, but also the ability to sit in an Adirondack chair, with the sun shining on my face, while overlooking a beautiful seaside Marina for a couple of hours -- to just chill, without being pulled in a dozen different directions. I so needed that
Then as early evening approached I went to check out a local seafood restaurant, explored the downtown area and enjoyed watching the movie "Sex in the City" at the little movie theatre in town. (the last time I had been to a movie was over two years ago).
After arriving back at the Inn, all I wanted to do was have some tea, relax, and then go to sleep. Ahh, a good night's sleep.....the ability to sleep in past 6:30 am and not be woken up by baby!!
Ha, ha -- that is where the joke was on me!! Because I wanted that so badly -- sleep eluded me!!! I lay in bed tossing and turning, with my body craving sleep, sleep, sleep -- and my mind suddenly on overdrive -- sleep seemed to be pushed farther and farther out of reach. The clock continued to tick the hours away....until I last remember seeing 3:00 am.
Then waking up to rain hitting the windows at 7:30 am -- I looked at the clock, rolled over, and tried to fall back to sleep. I knew I didn't need to be up until closer to 9:00.......but fat chance of that.
My big chance to get the sleep I need and it is elusive and out of reach......
Before baby I used to travel at least once a month doing trainings for American Express, but after baby, the first chance I had to travel for work overnight was just a month ago. This trip allowed me the freedom to not only get my job done, but also the ability to sit in an Adirondack chair, with the sun shining on my face, while overlooking a beautiful seaside Marina for a couple of hours -- to just chill, without being pulled in a dozen different directions. I so needed that
Then as early evening approached I went to check out a local seafood restaurant, explored the downtown area and enjoyed watching the movie "Sex in the City" at the little movie theatre in town. (the last time I had been to a movie was over two years ago).
After arriving back at the Inn, all I wanted to do was have some tea, relax, and then go to sleep. Ahh, a good night's sleep.....the ability to sleep in past 6:30 am and not be woken up by baby!!
Ha, ha -- that is where the joke was on me!! Because I wanted that so badly -- sleep eluded me!!! I lay in bed tossing and turning, with my body craving sleep, sleep, sleep -- and my mind suddenly on overdrive -- sleep seemed to be pushed farther and farther out of reach. The clock continued to tick the hours away....until I last remember seeing 3:00 am.
Then waking up to rain hitting the windows at 7:30 am -- I looked at the clock, rolled over, and tried to fall back to sleep. I knew I didn't need to be up until closer to 9:00.......but fat chance of that.
My big chance to get the sleep I need and it is elusive and out of reach......
Monday, June 2, 2008
No Rest For the Weary
One of the most difficult aspects of being a mom is that there is no break. If you are sick, if you are tired, if you are stressed....there is no break. I know that a few times since my son was born, I have gotten up in the morning and not felt good at all. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed, hide under the covers, and recharge. But there is no longer that luxury.
Before baby, I used to work all the time; but I always knew how to pace myself, give myself that down time to recharge my physical battery and be able to keep going and doing. My biggest challenge these days is finding a way to recharge my battery, because with anything, if the physical battery breaks down, everything else breaks down.
Yesterday was a perfect example. I woke up on sunday morning and was not feeling great, as if I was coming down with something. My husband went off to work overtime at his job and my son had me up at 6:30 am ready to go. I dragged myself out of bed and had to get our two dogs fed, and get my son a bottle of milk, then try to get him to have some sort of breakfast, while he is running around the house, more interested in playing........I would have given anything to have gone back to bed and caught a couple more hours of sleep.
But instead I tried to participate in the morning and prayed he would be ready for a nap at around 10:30am. Unfortunately, because I wanted him to, he was not going to have a nap at 10:30, or at 11:00 as I struggled with him to lay down. So finally I got him and I dressed and headed out for the day......just in time for him to fall asleep in the car on the way to a street fair. (For 20 minutes)
So we are out and about, I am feeling better, being outside and out of the house...but he is still wearing me down!! Then we leave to come home, and I am hoping he will be ready for an afternoon nap....give me a good hour to lay down and just grab some rest. He is almost nodding off in the car, and I am playing with his feet trying to keep him awake......almost home, just a few more miles, almost there.....and I can put him down in his bed, and I can lay down.
I lift him out of his car seat, ease him into the house, my dogs are jumping around because they want to go out.....and boom, Zack is up and there is now no nap. I put him in his crib anyway, hoping he will try to fall asleep, while I take out the dogs and feed them.......I go back upstairs and he is jumping around ready to play.
Does he need me to calm him down, try to get him back in the slumber state he was in a short while ago? Because he really does need to nap (and so do I) normally he takes a 2 hour nap and so far he has only had 20 minutes. I pick him up and try to rock him.......but nothing works, the spell has been broken and he is now up for the duration.
I let him down off my lap and look at my watch. I take a deep breath and wonder how I am going to get through the next few hours before he may be ready for sleep. It was now 3:30 and I doubt he would go down before 6:30 pm (if I am really lucky). Plus, without his nap, am I going to have to endure melt downs and emotional difficulties?
We get through the next few hours with some struggles, I get through dinner, we get through bath time and I am beyond ready to have him go down for the night. At 7:00 we are struggling in his bedroom, he is way past exhausted (and so am I) so he doesn't want to go down, but after a little bit he konks out! I am beat up, totally spent, and not able to do one more thing......
But as I walk downstairs I see the living room with scattered toys all over the floor, and I grit my teeth as I put everything away. I go into the kitchen to get a glass of wine, I walk back upstairs to my bedroom, throw on my soft pajamas and crawl under the covers and try to lose myself in a good book.
Just to do it all over again tomorrow..........
Before baby, I used to work all the time; but I always knew how to pace myself, give myself that down time to recharge my physical battery and be able to keep going and doing. My biggest challenge these days is finding a way to recharge my battery, because with anything, if the physical battery breaks down, everything else breaks down.
Yesterday was a perfect example. I woke up on sunday morning and was not feeling great, as if I was coming down with something. My husband went off to work overtime at his job and my son had me up at 6:30 am ready to go. I dragged myself out of bed and had to get our two dogs fed, and get my son a bottle of milk, then try to get him to have some sort of breakfast, while he is running around the house, more interested in playing........I would have given anything to have gone back to bed and caught a couple more hours of sleep.
But instead I tried to participate in the morning and prayed he would be ready for a nap at around 10:30am. Unfortunately, because I wanted him to, he was not going to have a nap at 10:30, or at 11:00 as I struggled with him to lay down. So finally I got him and I dressed and headed out for the day......just in time for him to fall asleep in the car on the way to a street fair. (For 20 minutes)
So we are out and about, I am feeling better, being outside and out of the house...but he is still wearing me down!! Then we leave to come home, and I am hoping he will be ready for an afternoon nap....give me a good hour to lay down and just grab some rest. He is almost nodding off in the car, and I am playing with his feet trying to keep him awake......almost home, just a few more miles, almost there.....and I can put him down in his bed, and I can lay down.
I lift him out of his car seat, ease him into the house, my dogs are jumping around because they want to go out.....and boom, Zack is up and there is now no nap. I put him in his crib anyway, hoping he will try to fall asleep, while I take out the dogs and feed them.......I go back upstairs and he is jumping around ready to play.
Does he need me to calm him down, try to get him back in the slumber state he was in a short while ago? Because he really does need to nap (and so do I) normally he takes a 2 hour nap and so far he has only had 20 minutes. I pick him up and try to rock him.......but nothing works, the spell has been broken and he is now up for the duration.
I let him down off my lap and look at my watch. I take a deep breath and wonder how I am going to get through the next few hours before he may be ready for sleep. It was now 3:30 and I doubt he would go down before 6:30 pm (if I am really lucky). Plus, without his nap, am I going to have to endure melt downs and emotional difficulties?
We get through the next few hours with some struggles, I get through dinner, we get through bath time and I am beyond ready to have him go down for the night. At 7:00 we are struggling in his bedroom, he is way past exhausted (and so am I) so he doesn't want to go down, but after a little bit he konks out! I am beat up, totally spent, and not able to do one more thing......
But as I walk downstairs I see the living room with scattered toys all over the floor, and I grit my teeth as I put everything away. I go into the kitchen to get a glass of wine, I walk back upstairs to my bedroom, throw on my soft pajamas and crawl under the covers and try to lose myself in a good book.
Just to do it all over again tomorrow..........
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