Finding Ways to Celebrate Life

Before baby, I was only dealing with the pressures of running my own business, things that came up in my personal relationships, and life in general. Once baby came on the scene those pressures needed to get relegated to the back burner, as I focused on Zack and his needs. However, the added work that goes into mothering can sometimes be too much....on top of those other concerns.

As a mother can relate, the Role of Mothering can be a thankless job. Oh, those hugs, smiles, your child's laughter and being called mommy in their little voice makes it all worthwhile!! But there are definitely days when I am just worn down.....and am looking for ways to "celebrate life," to give myself a "congratulations" for keeping it all together, and for "finding joy" amongst the work.

One way is to open up a bottle of champagne (there are some great varieties that don't cost a lot) and toast myself to how far I have come (from midnight feedings, lugging a huge diaper bag around, and having to carry Zack everywhere -- to sleeping through the night, carrying a downsized diaper bag to the sitters, and Zack being able to run around on his own). And how each day gets easier on a certain level.

I also celebrate juggling it all, through another day, and not cracking under the pressure.

To all mom's -- have a glass of champagne and congratulate yourselves for a job well done!!

Summer Has Begun

You know summer has begun when all the kids get out of school.... and get ready for camp. In the northeast it is extremely popular for kids to go to sleep away camp for four weeks or longer. Other kids go to day camp, filling up their days with outdoor and indoor activities.

In my community we have a summer camp called Beach Club that is based around our lake, starting kids at age 4. I can be driving and pass kids riding their bikes to the next activity, or see tons of kids at one beach taking swimming lessons, while at another beach they are practicing swimming styles for competition.

Ah, to be young and unencumbered and have nothing to do but enjoy life!

I dropped my son Zack off at his sitters house and she asked me if she could take him, along with three other girls that she watches, to a park about 30 minutes away that has a small zoo and a playground. That question brought a vision to mind of the future, being asked to sign a permission slip for my son to go on a class trip.

Of course he can go. Summer should be filled with fun, relaxing times, quality time with family, and sunny days.

To all moms out there kicking off their summer -- enjoy this time with your children...they aren't pressured by school, homework, extracurricular activities, and it is a wonderful chance to reconnect.

Preparing Pet for Baby (FM)

This week on my radio show -- Family Matters I wanted to address how important it is to prepare your pets for baby. If you are like me, my two dogs (boxers) have been our babies. My husband had our oldest dog a year before we met (she is now 10 years old) and we adopted another white boxer a few years ago.....and he has always felt like he was the baby!! So we were a little nervous about how he would handle a "new baby" that would be getting all our attention.

It is good to go to the Humane Society's website to get specific tips that you can print out and go through, as you gear up for baby's arrival www.hsus.org There is a whole section about introducing your pet to new baby and a video to watch as well.

Only being a dog person, I didn't spend as much time talking about cats. But there is also information about toxoplasmosis that can be contracted through the kitty litter box of cats, so if you do have a cat, please check out that section as well.

And finally, really consider bringing on someone to walk your pet because a new baby will consume a great deal of your time. Dogs especially need their exercise and attention, and it may be difficult, especially in the beginning to give them what they need. You don't want them to be jealous of the baby, and you do want to give them the best care possible.

Finding a local high school student who is looking to make a little money won't cost you that much, but it could be your best investment for the future.

What Moms Put Up With

I was reflecting the other day, as my son smeared sauce from his lunch onto my shirt, and then proceeded to pull my hair from my hair clip as we were walking around the ball park.....at how much I have put up with once I became a mother. To think that in my "previous life" before baby, I was always dressed immaculately, I was rarely frazzled, and I always wore my hair down. However, shortly after my son realized how great it was to play with my hair, I began wearing it up in a ponytail, or in a clip, so that he couldn't "pull" on it.

But besides the hair (which he has a fascination with), I began reflecting back on when he was an infant and the constant poop (in varying colors) that I needed to change, as well the ongoing spit up issue that had me changing his clothes (as well as mine) several times throughout the day. That had to be one of the hardest parts -- I could not wear anything nice -- I was always paying attention to clothes that I was putting on, and whether or not it was washable.

Now we are in the stage of early mornings (and I am not a morning person) -- with non-stop action from the minute he gets up until the time he collapses at the end of the day. He is loud and noisy as he yells from one room to the next, screams at our dog to chase after him, squeals with excitement, and screeches because he likes to hear the sound of his voice. (It can be maddening, because I am so used to having a peaceful house -- many times I can't hear myself think).

And with all little boys that are eager to explore and check out new things......he is constantly getting into everything he shouldn't and breaking things. This will happen as he trys to pull the towel rack off the wall, grab the air freshener from the electrical outlet, play with the television clicker or portable phone when it is in his reach, and yank items off my book shelf.

But you have to love that sweet little smile he flashes you just when you are overwhelmed with frustration. You just can't be mad at him because he is too cute......and he is only being a boy!!

Many times I find myself just breathing.....in and out.....until I am back to a somewhat calm place and he has already moved onto something else!

Every day is a new adventure -- it certainly isn't dull.

Taking Toddler to Phillies Baseball Game

I have always been an avid sports fan -- before I moved up north I had season tickets to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Football games, I was part owner in a suite at the Ice Palace where the Tampa Bay Lightning Hockey team played, and I went to all the Tampa Bay Storm games (indoor arena football). My husband is also a big sports fanatic, so we enjoyed traveling to football games, baseball and hockey games together. When I was pregnant with my son, we even went to three baseball games -- breaking in my son to sports while still in the womb.

Once he was born that activity wasn't quite as easy, but I still managed to go to one baseball game when he was seven months old (with him sleeping through half the game) and another baseball game at fourteen months (although we left early). However, yesterday's outing to Philadelphia to see the Phillies play the Angels was not the way I want to go to a game.

I used to love sitting outside, getting some sun, enjoying the ball park, watching the game and relaxing. Yesterday when we got there my husband showed me the seats he had bought....they were phenomenal -- eighth row behind third base, behind the visitor's dugout. I think I got to enjoy the view for the first few minutes when we first arrived there, then for 45 minutes at the beginning of the game before Zacky started squirming and did not want to "sit" any longer and watch the game.

So the rest of the game I was strolling him around, through the crowds, and walking after him in a little more open area, way up on the second floor, where tables and umbrellas were set up -- trying to amuse him in a crowded ball park. It was not fun, it was exhausting, and it was not the way to enjoy going to a game!

I realize that "this too will change" as Zack gets older and will become interested in watching the game -- as he loves baseball. When he was in the seats with us he was excited about the mascot running around on the field, he was yelling when a batter got up and hit the ball into the field, and he loved being at the game (this lasted for 30 minutes before he was ready to go running around).

So for now -- this transition phase when he is an active toddler -- I know that to save my sanity, it is better to put off this activity until both he and I can enjoy the experience!

Asking For Help (FM)

While speaking with The Baby Planners, Melissa and Ellie, about the services they offer to help moms-to-be, it had me reflecting on the help that new moms need once the baby is brought home.

This can be an especially overwhelming time, as mom is recovering from delivery and being responsible for the constant needs of a newborn. It is even more so if a mom had an unexpected c-section. I know that for me, I thought I had arranged enough help for when I got home from the hospital.....but there were so many things I hadn't counted on, and ultimately did not have enough assistance.

A Few Things to Keep In Mind when Pre-Planning:

1. Have a conversation with your husband about what he is willing to do and how can responsibilities be divided up? Is he planning on taking off from work the first two weeks to be an extra set of hands? Is he willing to take over one of the night time feedings (if the baby is bottle fed) Will he take the baby to the doctor/or can he drive you there? Can he help with the laundry or making dinner? And can he take over for you once he arrives home at the end of the day so you are given a break?

2. Plan to have friends and family available to jump in to help where needed the first 3-4 weeks one the baby arrives home (this is in case of a c-section). And tell them specific things that you need help with; such as picking up groceries, watching the baby so you can sleep, or even take a walk to clear your head.

3. Plan how meals are going to be prepared because that will be a chore you won't have time to do -- but you still need to eat well to recover from your delivery.

4. If you have any pets, who can walk and feed them the first couple of weeks? Is there someone in your neighborhood that can do that?

5. Who can take care of doing the laundry or cleaning the house?

It is better to over plan for help and not need it, than to not have enough assistance and feel distraught.

Life of the Party

On saturday Jeff, Zack and I went to a graduation party. A friend of ours was throwing a party for his daughter, who just graduated from college. It was a very casual affair, held in a VFW hall by their house, and our friend comes from a large family, so they are used to having kids running around. It was our first event, with a group of people at a party, with Zack being able to run and play with other kids.

When we first arrived, he was immediately attracted to the red helium balloons that were scattered all over the hall for decoration. Luckily they had three balloons grouped together, and attached to a cow bell, on each of the tables. So we grabbed one of the tables and let him play with our centerpiece for awhile. He then enjoyed running up and down the hall, grabbing a dorito or potato chip on each visit back by us; he was also waving to everyone that was coming in, and visiting guests sitting around to say hello -- it was as if he was the host of the party.

Then once a few children showed up, he was set for the rest of the afternoon -- running around with them, playing with the balloons, laughing and just having a great time. It was so much fun to watch......and I wasn't the only one. All the guests loved his happy face, his openness and his laughter.

When we got ready to leave, a few hours later, on the way out the door, people we didn't even know were sad to see us leave, they said that Zack had been their entertainment.

It made me so happy to see him going and doing on his own, without worrying about where we were, not needing to sit near us, but instead out exploring new people and having fun!
It was a very good day.