When I was pregnant I wanted to keep my disposition calm and happy. I felt that everything I did, ate, and allowed into my realm contributed to the birth of my son. My feeling was that by speed walking I was keeping my body strong, by being happy and content, those feelings were being sent to my baby, and as I ate well that nutrition was also helping to grow my baby.
Well I am happy to report that my son is a happy, healthy little boy. But sometimes I forget that what I was doing before he was born, is also just as important now that he is an active participant in my life.
When he was a baby and I was calm and reassuring, he was calm and at peace. Now that he is a toddler, when I am right there with him and not having my mind caught up in a thousand things he is happy and just as involved with me. But when I am stressed and scattered he can sometimes seem just as edgy.
Sometimes I need to come back to the moment and see how my son is mirroring my emotions and tapping into how I am feeling. Right now when there is so much uncertainty in the world, remember that your children can tap into your feelings and if you are not strong and confident they can mirror those emotions back to you.
We need to live in the moment, not get caught up in the negativity and express pure love back to our children.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Nurturing Mom....and Dad (FM)
While the last couple of radio shows I have focused on subjects such as postpartum depression, recovery and healing of mom, I realized that it might be helpful to do a whole show about ways in which to nurture mom...and dad. Joining me again is Dr. Shoshana Bennett, Phd. whose specialty is mom's emotional and mental health.
Her and I had a wonderful exchange about the many ways that dad, family and friends can help to nurture mom and ultimately help her be the best that she can be. Several examples were to give her time to get out in nature, provide some sleep time, give her regular breaks throughout the week, and mom learning to ask for help when she needs it, and to set boundaries as the holidays approach so as to not burn out. And if mom is feeling overwhelmed, know that it is ok to reach out and get the support personally and professionally that is needed.
Then later on in the show I spoke with Milana Knowles with SpaFinder.com about her 5000 spas nationwide that pregnant and new moms can tap into to relieve any stress or anxiety, as well as physical ailments that a woman experiences during this transitional time in her life. We chatted about the benefits of pre-natal, swedish and hot stone massages. We talked about the many different packages and programs that spas have and how wonderful it is to spend a half day being pampered at a spa with a friend, sister, mother, or husband. And even how after baby turns 6 months, an overnight getaway to a spa for mom and dad may be just what the doctor orders for jump starting a relationship.
Milana also mentioned that if a woman is pregnant or is breastfeeding, she should always let the spa know when booking her appointment, and to let her service provider know so that person will not use certain products that could be harmful.
I enjoyed the conversation so much, it made me want to book an appointment at one of my favorite spas near my house, the Fountain Day Spa. I thoroughly enjoy having a hot whirlpool bath and then a hot stone massage to relieve my stress, clear my head and nurture my neck and back.
Her and I had a wonderful exchange about the many ways that dad, family and friends can help to nurture mom and ultimately help her be the best that she can be. Several examples were to give her time to get out in nature, provide some sleep time, give her regular breaks throughout the week, and mom learning to ask for help when she needs it, and to set boundaries as the holidays approach so as to not burn out. And if mom is feeling overwhelmed, know that it is ok to reach out and get the support personally and professionally that is needed.
Then later on in the show I spoke with Milana Knowles with SpaFinder.com about her 5000 spas nationwide that pregnant and new moms can tap into to relieve any stress or anxiety, as well as physical ailments that a woman experiences during this transitional time in her life. We chatted about the benefits of pre-natal, swedish and hot stone massages. We talked about the many different packages and programs that spas have and how wonderful it is to spend a half day being pampered at a spa with a friend, sister, mother, or husband. And even how after baby turns 6 months, an overnight getaway to a spa for mom and dad may be just what the doctor orders for jump starting a relationship.
Milana also mentioned that if a woman is pregnant or is breastfeeding, she should always let the spa know when booking her appointment, and to let her service provider know so that person will not use certain products that could be harmful.
I enjoyed the conversation so much, it made me want to book an appointment at one of my favorite spas near my house, the Fountain Day Spa. I thoroughly enjoy having a hot whirlpool bath and then a hot stone massage to relieve my stress, clear my head and nurture my neck and back.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
St. Gerard's Home for Unwed Mothers
When I was in Florida in August, while conducting a seminar and book signing for women "Starting Their Families" I was surprised to see 3 teenage girls from the nearby St. Gerard's Home for unwed mothers, attend my seminar. If anyone needed advice and encouragement while pregnant, it was these three girls. One was 18, one was 16, and one was 15. They all planned on keeping their babies, and I had to reflect on how challenging my first year was with my son, and what a difficult road these girls were facing.
They were kids themselves, with boyfriends somewhat involved, and huge financial struggles ahead of them. One girl had even been kicked out of her parents house because she was pregnant -- which led her to St. Gerard's. I couldn't even imagine the emotional struggle she is dealing with, not having her family to support her, at such a difficult time in her life!!
She was the one that shared with me the high number of teenagers becoming pregnant today -- 1 in 10 teenagers!! And how little information there was out there to give them advice and direction. What is to become of these children, that are being born to children??
To all parents out there that are struggling to juggle their children and their lives, just think about how much more difficult it would be if you were a teenager trying to raise a baby!!!
They were kids themselves, with boyfriends somewhat involved, and huge financial struggles ahead of them. One girl had even been kicked out of her parents house because she was pregnant -- which led her to St. Gerard's. I couldn't even imagine the emotional struggle she is dealing with, not having her family to support her, at such a difficult time in her life!!
She was the one that shared with me the high number of teenagers becoming pregnant today -- 1 in 10 teenagers!! And how little information there was out there to give them advice and direction. What is to become of these children, that are being born to children??
To all parents out there that are struggling to juggle their children and their lives, just think about how much more difficult it would be if you were a teenager trying to raise a baby!!!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Recovery & Healing (FM)
Several weeks ago my radio show was focused on Labor and Delivery; and while mom's recovery was touched upon, I felt it was an important topic to discuss in length, as not enough attention is brought to the struggle new moms face once coming home from the hospital.
To me, the recovery of my son's birth was worse than the labor and delivery itself. While labor may last as long as one full day -- a woman's recovery could take up to four weeks (based on any complications). And those 4 weeks are not filled with sleeping, laying on the couch or resting ones body so it can heal. Those weeks encompass little sleep, the constant needs of a newborn, swirling emotions, and the repercussions of trauma a mothers body has gone through.
Which is why I wanted to talk with Rachel Mahan, a postpartum doula and baby nurse, founder of Bella Bambini, about how her assistance can make a huge difference in the swift recovery of a new mom after delivery. If I had known about her services before I had my son, I would have definitely hired her to help me and my husband through that difficult first few months of recovery, healing and becoming new parents.
To me, the recovery of my son's birth was worse than the labor and delivery itself. While labor may last as long as one full day -- a woman's recovery could take up to four weeks (based on any complications). And those 4 weeks are not filled with sleeping, laying on the couch or resting ones body so it can heal. Those weeks encompass little sleep, the constant needs of a newborn, swirling emotions, and the repercussions of trauma a mothers body has gone through.
Which is why I wanted to talk with Rachel Mahan, a postpartum doula and baby nurse, founder of Bella Bambini, about how her assistance can make a huge difference in the swift recovery of a new mom after delivery. If I had known about her services before I had my son, I would have definitely hired her to help me and my husband through that difficult first few months of recovery, healing and becoming new parents.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Joys of Motherhood
From the day of his birth Zack has been the light of my life, but at 19 months I found that this was the most enjoyable time with my son.
For the first year he was totally dependent on me for everything. But through the next six months following, he developed into a walking, talking, running, eating on his own, playing on his own and with others, little person.
At 19 months he became so much fun -- watching his facial expressions, his excitement in discovering the world around him, listening to his language develop and the way he expresses his thoughts. He can play and interact with Jeff and I, adding so much dimension to our lives. And I love observing who this little boy is growing into as a person. Each day brings new experiences.
Sometimes I am amazed at how special he is and what joy and light he shares with the people around him, and the people he interacts with. He is always so happy and engaging. Saying hello to everyone he meets, flashing his big smile and waving in their direction; very few people can resist his enthusiasm.
I thank God every day for this happy and healthy little guy and how lucky I am to have him in my life.
Now at 22 months today, I am amazed by all that he can say and the little conversations we are now having. Two precious moments that pulled on my heart strings was when I was leaving his sitters house and he waved and said "good bye mommy" and then said "hug, hug." So I went over to hug him, and then he gave me a kiss, and waved again to let me know he was going off to play. At that moment I felt he was definitely growing up....And then two weeks ago when we were driving in the car, he said something from the backseat, and I wasn't sure what he said so I asked him, and this time he clearly said "mommy pretty." I was so overwhelmed with joy. I gave him a big smile and said "thank you honey." He became just as happy with my response, and then repeated mommy pretty several times.
Ah, the Joy of Motherhood.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The Pre-School Dilemma (FM)
While most parents are not even thinking about a pre-school until their child hits the age of 2; other parents are stressing about the pre-school situation while still pregnant. These parents are city dwellers, and their friends have been discussing their own anxiety of how their little ones will get into a top tier pre-school when the demand for an opening far outweighs supply.
On my radio show I had an opportunity to talk with Amanda Uhry, founder of Manhattan Private School Advisors about this problem. She is an expert on this subject because her company's whole focus is to help parents across the country get their kids into hyper competitive pre-schools. Her company is located in New York City where Tribeca is now being termed Triburbia, and there are 700,000 more kids under age 5 than ever before. While having 3 kids is now the "new 2" -- there are now more children than spots available in city pre-schools. And while the answer should be to just build more schools, it is difficult to do in the city where real estate is limited and expensive, and insurance is costly.
So in lies parents concerns about what to do. In our competitive world, what used to be that middle school determined the best high school and then college -- now it is what pre-school your child starts at will determine their schooling from then on...
Which brings me to Jody Martin, Director of Education and Curriculum at Creme de la Creme Early Learning Centers, a day care, pre-school and kindergarten all in one. It is an upscale environment created in a 21,000 square foot facility that has a Disney World feel, a great enrichment program for kids and provides and easy transition from pre-school into kindergarten.
They currently have 20 locations across the country and are adding 5 more locations in 2009. (Although not in cities where pre-schools are in high demand.) I was impressed with their curriculum which combined social skills, with playing, and with learning.
With my work with younger kids -- many times I am advising parents to enroll their children into a pre-school that is focused on social skills, while other times kids will have the social skills, but will need a more curriculum based environment. With Creme de la Creme, parents can be assured that their children are getting both.
With social skills being such an important part of a child's foundation, for peer interaction in the future, I am always amazed at how many children are not receiving those skills early on!!
On my radio show I had an opportunity to talk with Amanda Uhry, founder of Manhattan Private School Advisors about this problem. She is an expert on this subject because her company's whole focus is to help parents across the country get their kids into hyper competitive pre-schools. Her company is located in New York City where Tribeca is now being termed Triburbia, and there are 700,000 more kids under age 5 than ever before. While having 3 kids is now the "new 2" -- there are now more children than spots available in city pre-schools. And while the answer should be to just build more schools, it is difficult to do in the city where real estate is limited and expensive, and insurance is costly.
So in lies parents concerns about what to do. In our competitive world, what used to be that middle school determined the best high school and then college -- now it is what pre-school your child starts at will determine their schooling from then on...
Which brings me to Jody Martin, Director of Education and Curriculum at Creme de la Creme Early Learning Centers, a day care, pre-school and kindergarten all in one. It is an upscale environment created in a 21,000 square foot facility that has a Disney World feel, a great enrichment program for kids and provides and easy transition from pre-school into kindergarten.
They currently have 20 locations across the country and are adding 5 more locations in 2009. (Although not in cities where pre-schools are in high demand.) I was impressed with their curriculum which combined social skills, with playing, and with learning.
With my work with younger kids -- many times I am advising parents to enroll their children into a pre-school that is focused on social skills, while other times kids will have the social skills, but will need a more curriculum based environment. With Creme de la Creme, parents can be assured that their children are getting both.
With social skills being such an important part of a child's foundation, for peer interaction in the future, I am always amazed at how many children are not receiving those skills early on!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Bonding With Daddy
There are a lot of moms that need to travel for work and leave their young children at home. I discovered first hand how difficult that is when I went off to Las Vegas for a few days to attend the largest baby expo in the country.
Those few days were defining for me. It was the first time I had traveled alone on the plane without my son, since his birth, and it caused flashbacks to when I would travel all the time for work, unencumbered. I was feeling caught between two realities -- the one of a career woman (before baby) and the other of being a responsible mom (traveling for work).
It was also the first time my husband was solely responsible for our son, for more than overnight. My thoughts wandered to how would they do? How would Zack's naps and bedtimes go, and how would Jeff manage for a few days without assistance?
I knew that if all went well, it would be much easier to travel again for business --but if there were a lot of challenges, it would make it harder for me to leave town (emotionally and mentally).
Luckily, those few days became a great bonding time for both Jeff and Zack. Jeff had dedicated time with our son without me being there, and Zack got a chance to hang out with dad and bond. And the bedtimes seemed to go easier for Jeff than I imagined!!
Those few days also provided a great opportunity for me to also get some sleep without having to get up with Zack at 6:15 am. Where in my previous reality I would have gone out on the town and gotten back to the room later in the evening; now, by 9:00pm all I wanted to do was to crawl into bed and get some sleep!!
My how times have changed!!
Those few days were defining for me. It was the first time I had traveled alone on the plane without my son, since his birth, and it caused flashbacks to when I would travel all the time for work, unencumbered. I was feeling caught between two realities -- the one of a career woman (before baby) and the other of being a responsible mom (traveling for work).
It was also the first time my husband was solely responsible for our son, for more than overnight. My thoughts wandered to how would they do? How would Zack's naps and bedtimes go, and how would Jeff manage for a few days without assistance?
I knew that if all went well, it would be much easier to travel again for business --but if there were a lot of challenges, it would make it harder for me to leave town (emotionally and mentally).
Luckily, those few days became a great bonding time for both Jeff and Zack. Jeff had dedicated time with our son without me being there, and Zack got a chance to hang out with dad and bond. And the bedtimes seemed to go easier for Jeff than I imagined!!
Those few days also provided a great opportunity for me to also get some sleep without having to get up with Zack at 6:15 am. Where in my previous reality I would have gone out on the town and gotten back to the room later in the evening; now, by 9:00pm all I wanted to do was to crawl into bed and get some sleep!!
My how times have changed!!
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