Whenever a new baby comes along, a couples sex life takes a backseat to the needs of a newborn and sleep deprivation. But the key to keeping a couples relationship strong is to find the time and energy for intimacy and sex, even if that means scheduling a time together.
Wendy Jaffe, a former divorce attorney and author of the book "The Divorce Lawyers Guide to Staying Married" confirms that one of the biggest reasons couples get divorced is the lack of sex in their marriage. She also talks about how some parents can become "kidaholics" once they have a child and how that can affect their relationship.
Then Gregory Keer, father of three, and publisher of www.Familymanonline.com, provides a dads perspective on a couples sex life after baby's arrival. He shares how a dad can be supportive of mom, and be open to intimacy and other alternatives to sex when sex doesn't work such as cuddling, kissing and holding one another. Sometimes quiet time at the end of the day can help reaffirm ones connection and love for the other, and that is just as important.
We also discussed the idea of a couple getting away for a weekend, if at all possible, 3 - 4 months after the baby's birth to reconnect and jumpstart your sex life. If you have relatives that can watch the baby, that would be ideal. It not only gives you a chance to get away to sleep, talk, and get your love life back on track, but your baby will also get accustomed to staying overnight at someone else's house.
Remember you were a couple before you became parents, don't lose that strong foundation as you take on the new role of father and mother.
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What an inspiring (and much-needed!) post. We have it even worse--our kids are sleeping with us. Sigh. I just found your blog, I'm also featured on The Ultimate Role Mommy Blogroll, and wanted to reach out. I put up a post today about two kids vs. three, and was hoping you could join the discussion over at www.lovethatmax.blogspot.com
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