Sex & Intimacy After Baby (FM)

Whenever a new baby comes along, a couples sex life takes a backseat to the needs of a newborn and sleep deprivation. But the key to keeping a couples relationship strong is to find the time and energy for intimacy and sex, even if that means scheduling a time together.

Wendy Jaffe, a former divorce attorney and author of the book "The Divorce Lawyers Guide to Staying Married" confirms that one of the biggest reasons couples get divorced is the lack of sex in their marriage. She also talks about how some parents can become "kidaholics" once they have a child and how that can affect their relationship.

Then Gregory Keer, father of three, and publisher of www.Familymanonline.com, provides a dads perspective on a couples sex life after baby's arrival. He shares how a dad can be supportive of mom, and be open to intimacy and other alternatives to sex when sex doesn't work such as cuddling, kissing and holding one another. Sometimes quiet time at the end of the day can help reaffirm ones connection and love for the other, and that is just as important.

We also discussed the idea of a couple getting away for a weekend, if at all possible, 3 - 4 months after the baby's birth to reconnect and jumpstart your sex life. If you have relatives that can watch the baby, that would be ideal. It not only gives you a chance to get away to sleep, talk, and get your love life back on track, but your baby will also get accustomed to staying overnight at someone else's house.

Remember you were a couple before you became parents, don't lose that strong foundation as you take on the new role of father and mother.

Motherhood Untold (FM)

As I was gearing up for the birth of my son 2 years ago, I knew that my life would change, but I wasn't truly prepared for how much it would change! Or how challenging it would be to integrate this little person into my marriage, my career, and what used to be "my time." I had a friend tell me, after having her first child, how being a mom was the hardest job she ever had, and I brushed her off. I thought if I can work four months in a row, while working 60-70 hours a week without a day off, I can handle taking care of a baby.

Little did I realize that at the end of each day of work I was able to go home and not be pulled on by work, not so with a little baby that needs you 24/7. And at the end of 4 months I was able to take a reprieve from my job after completing that project, but that doesn't happen with a baby. Your baby is with you from the day he is born, until he hopefully goes off to college.

I used to be really good at pacing myself, knowing my limits, and taking time to take care of myself so I wouldn't burn myself out.....and that is so much harder with a baby. When you are sick you can't just crawl into bed and sleep it away, like you could before baby. The world changes, and you have to change with it.

On my show, Dr. Shoshana Bennett and I talk about several common fantasies that mothers have about motherhood that can create a harsh reality for them when they realize that those fantasies that they believed, are not true. Several are:

*This should be the happiest time of my life
*I should be able to do everything myself
*I shouldn't need breaks
*My life won't change that much
*My needs shouldn't matter
*Breastfeeding is natural, so it should come easily

Then later Jenna McCarthy, author of the book "The Parent Trip -- from High Heels and Parties, to High Chairs and Potties" and I laugh and joke about several sections of her book dealing with Take My Husband Please, How Competitive Motherhood kicks in when baby is born, The 5 Second Rule, and No Sex in the City.

Enjoy us laughing about the challenges that moms go through and know that we all face similar situations.