Advice For Moms & Dads (FM)

In thinking about the topic for this radio show, two authors came to mind. One of them always makes me laugh and knew she would add humor to this show, and that is Jenna McCarthy (not to be confused with Jenny McCarthy). Jenna wrote the book "The Parent Trip: From High Heels and Parties to High Chairs and Potties" and just came out with a new one entitled "Cheers to the New Mom/Dad," just in time for Mother's and Father's Day.

The second author has written a very intriguing book and I really wanted to get his input on a man/dad's mindset. He is Charles Orlando and has written the book "The Problem with Women is Men -- The evolution of a man's man to a man of higher evolution." Needless to say it was a title that grabbed my attention, and made me feel that having Charles as a guest would be very enlightening!

Just as I was getting ready to interview Jenna I ran across an article in the USA Today that I thought was extremely relevant to the topic of passing along words of wisdom to my new parent listeners. It was titled "More Parents Share the Workload When Moms Learns to Let Go...." I know that when I became a new mother it was very difficult in the beginning to hand over the reins to my husband to take care of my son.....he didn't know what certain cries meant, he did things differently from me and would he have the patience to handle Zack without getting upset? These were all the thoughts that ran through my head whenever Jeff stepped in to help. But I soon realized that I needed to hand Zack over and walk away if I was ever going to get any time to myself (to accomplish anything, or even if that meant taking a shower in peace) and Jeff needed to learn how to handle Zack in his own way.

Needless to say Jenna and I had many laughs about letting our husbands share the workload and how two type A personality women had to learn the hard way (and how maybe we are still learning!!)

Then Charles filled me in on all that he ldiscovered after talking with and interviewing almost 1600 men and women for his book. Learn tips about the core flaws of men, what they bring to the relationship, and how women should interact with those flaws.

Passing along words of wisdom to moms and dads.

Many Toddler Firsts

This past weekend my son Zack experienced a couple of firsts and it is so amazing watching a little person experience something for the first time. I loved watching the excitement in his face and his enthusiasm for the event. Spending these times together with my son brings joy and happiness to every aspect of my life!

On Saturday he went to his first "real" birthday party. We had thrown him a birthday party for his 2nd birthday in December, but had only invited two children that he plays with on a regular basis, along with various adult friends and family. But this party was for his good friend Natalie who was turning 4 years old and there were 15 children there varying in ages from 2 1/2 (he was the youngest) to 9 years old. It was a wonderful party with a Luau theme and while the children were engrossed in various games and playing with all the other kids, the adults were chatting, drinking wine and enjoying themselves as well. It was a win-win for everyone involved!

But when Zack first arrived he became a little overwhelmed by all the children and the fact that he had to share his "best friend Natalie" was all these other children. So he was unsure about what to do, he was clinging to me, and started to cry if I wasn't right there with him. But once he settled into the atmosphere and got into the fun of the event he was fine, and was soon running with all the rest of the kids! We had a wonderful time and chocked up our first birthday party event.

Then on Sunday my husband and I took Zack to the circus! The Shriners were putting on a circus in Morristown, NJ and we decided to head down there for the 12:30 show. We arrived at around quarter to 12:00, got our tickets, talked to a couple of the clowns that were mulling around in the entrance and then walked around. We soon discovered that they were having pony and elephant rides and the first thing Zack wanted to do was to ride a pony. So we bought our ticket and I walked with him around in a circle as he rode atop a beautiful tan colored pony. The we bought some popcorn, hot dogs and water to really experience the circus feel.

Soon the circus started and Zack was amazed by the Tigers, the man riding a motorcycle on the high wire, the clowns, the acrobats and performing dogs. But with any new experience we realized that an hour into the event he started getting tired....it was time for his nap, and the circus decided to take a 20 min (or so) intermission and it became time for us to leave. Sure enough, 5 minutes into the car ride home he was fast asleep in the back seat!

But he did get to enjoy his first circus, and maybe next time we will be able to stay for the whole show! But for Jeff and I it was a wonderful outing, just experiencing the circus through his eyes!

You can't get much better than that!!

Tracey's Tip #18 -- Being a Balanced Mom

Based on my radio interview with Jenna McCarthy -- L.I.G. -- Let It Go!!

Many of us are perfectionists and have Type A personalities and want everything to be just so! But if your partner is willing to watch the kids while you go off and have "me" time....and if the house or the children aren't just so when you get back home -- Let It Go!

As long as everyone is happy, and no one got hurt while you were gone, that is what matters. Moms need to let dads handle things while they are away and give them the space and the consideration to do it.....so they will continue doing it!

Balanced moms need a team to help her and she needs to let that team do their jobs!

Tracey's Tip #17 -- Being a Balanced Mom

Drop the guilt!!

There are only so many things that you can take care of and get done in a day. If one day you can't get that perfectly nutritious dinner on the table, it's ok if you order in for pizza, or pick up a bucket of fried chicken on the way home.

If your kids are happy and healthy -- that is what matters!

Focus on all the great things that you do...instead of what you weren't able to do that day!

You are a great mom and your kids love you for it!

In Sickness & In Health

A couple of weeks ago my son came down with a stomach bug and it was the first time he has been really sick. Up to this point he has had several sinus infections and small colds, but nothing that has kept him from not going to the sitters during the week.

But this time I had to clear my calendar, cancel appointments and reschedule radio show interviews to stay at home and take care of Zack. It was an interesting experience!! I felt so bad. Zack was so scared about vomiting because he hadn't experienced that before, and of course he didn't like it! (who does??) So he was clinging to me on the couch, and where normally he would be running and playing, now he was sedate and lethargic.

He instead cuddled on the couch watching movies, barely eating, trying to keep liquids down and keep him hydrated -- while he carried a low grade fever and was experiencing bouts of diarrhea.

A phone call to the doctor, and then a trip into the office to make sure I was doing everything I could, and to verify that he didn't have anything more serious than a stomach bug. Luckily the doctor said he should be fine in a few days.

During that time period I learned all about the items I should be feeding him (bananas, saltines, toast, cheerios and plain rice) and the drinks I should be pushing such as pedialyte and gatorade to replenish his electrolytes.

The whole experience made me feel so helpless because I couldn't do anything to "make him feel better," and I hated seeing him suffer; especially when I knew his head hurt and his tummy was upset.

I just had to wait it out and be there for him!
Four days later he was back to his old self and ready to eat!!
A very good sign.

An Ode to Mom (FM)

For Mother's Day I wanted to do an Ode to Mom and who better to help me but Ellie and Melissa from The Baby Planners -- my Baby Product Experts. Through their travels they meet more and more women who have become moms and then saw a need that was not being met and decided to fill it themselves.

On this show we start out by talking about "Moms Who Have Made It" by turning motherhood into a business through websites and baby products. Two regular contributors on my show fall into this category -- Dr. JJ Levenstein, a pediatrician who collaborated with another pediatrician mom to create Baby Silk, a line of products for babies. And Mindee Dooney and Julie Pickens who created Boogie Wipes, when they were constantly chasing after their children's runny noses.

Ellie and Melissa discuss many great websites:
www.TheWellMom.com
www.TheCradle.com
www.HotMomsClub.com

And several wonderful products:
Emily Green
Mountain Blue Eyes
Rain or Shine Kids
Woobies

Then later in the show Lu Hanessien, author of the book "Let the Baby Drive" discusses how moms should Trust Their Gut and Follow Their Instinct, and learn to block the outside world's input, because no one knows your child better than you do!

So to all the Mothers out there, I hope you enjoy the day dedicated to all that you do for your family!

Happy Mother's Day

Tracey's Tip #16 -- Being a Balanced Mom

If you don't already have it in place, gather up a list of babysitters and keep in handy. I am right now tapping into kids in my neighborhood to arrange for nights out with my husband.

Babysitters are also great to use in case I need to do something where I can't bring Zack, and my husband is working.

We all know this but sometimes we forget about ourselves and will tend to put ourselves last. If our partner or family members aren't around to watch our children, we may forgo the event instead. To stay balanced and be the best mom we can be, we need our own time, whether it be to work out or to go out with friends.

So as the summer nears tap into those college kids who are home for the summer -- they are looking for ways to make a little extra money!

Tracey's Tip #15 -- Being a Balanced Mom

Learn to tap into your inner voice to determine what you should do in regards to raising your children, handling a particular issue and going about your daily life.

Sometimes my brain will tell me the things I "should get done" but my inner voice will tell me to take a break and recharge a little. Those things can always get taken care of later.....because what I really need is a break, especially when I have the opportunity to take one (like when my son is taking a nap)!

What is your inner voice saying to you? Can you hear it?

Expectant Mothers Day (FM)

When I was about 4 months pregnant we chose Mothers Day to let everyone in our family know that we were pregnant. And even though it was a joyous day I still felt a tremendous longing for the day I would be able to officially celebrate Mothers Day as a mom!

It was the next year that I discovered May 4th is officially Expectant Mother's Day and I thought 'how wonderful is that' to honor the pregnant woman that is carrying her child to birth; and especially if it is her first child and one she has been longing for!! (like I was)

So I wanted to dedicate this show to all the Expectant Mothers and Fathers out there by bringing on two experts to provide information they wished they would have received before bringing baby home.

Gregory Keer, my fatherhood expert and publisher of www.familymanonline.com, is also a father of three children. He discusses tapping into paternity leave, prioritizing your new family and not extended family, how not to feel guilty about asking for help, be careful where you spend your money, and accept failure as part of the process.

Then Claudine Wolk, author of the book "It Get's Easier! And other Lies we Tell New Mothers" and mother of three children of her own, dishes on her own pieces of advice. She shares how new moms should become friends with their delivery nurse, how you should watch a woman breastfeed before having to it yourself, make sure you get help when you get home and start building a list of babysitters to tap into, get your baby on a sleep schedule and put the baby down to sleep when he is drowsy, not completely asleep.

If you are expecting your first, second or third tap into these words of wisdom because as my experts shared, they learned these tips on the second or third time around!!

Being Emotionally Ready

A couple of weeks ago I wrote an entry about how my son had transitioned from the crib to the toddler bed, and how monumental that felt for me. Well, it was just as monumental for my son, but in a difficult way.

During that first week when Zack began sleeping in his bed without the railing on the side, he was constantly crawling into our bed in the middle of the night. Now in the past if he would need us he would call out in the morning and one of us would go get him. But almost all the time he was sleeping through the night. So why now was he getting up in the middle of the night and wandering into our bed? Besides the fact that he could??

Was not having the railing there waking him up if he rolled over, or was he scared he was going to fall out of the crib?

Finally after several days of this I asked Zack if he was scared about falling out of the bed and he said yes. So Jeff and I talked about him not being "ready" for the toddler bed emotionally -- even though he could physically crawl out of the crib.

Later that day Jeff put the side back on the crib and it seemed to work. Even if Zack did wake up and come into our room, I could put him back in the crib and he would fall right back to sleep.

Sometimes children may be physically or mentally ready for a transition in their life but emotionally their not. It is our job as their parents to pay attention and to not push them before their ready!